Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
