Sry I called you an 8
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
