Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
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