You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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