i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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