Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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