She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
We had sex on a dog bed..
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
We're too hungover to prance.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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