he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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