She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
birth control should be required to get into college
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I just want nice things and good sex
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
