Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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