? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Randomize
