Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Still dying that you shit outside
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I woke up under a house in Key West
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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