found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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