God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Randomize
