never play flip cup with pint glasses
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
