yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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