Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I look excited, but its just a facade.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I love you.
Bad choice
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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