One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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