Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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