Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
