She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
