Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
They left me at home... I'm a liability
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
