I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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