I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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