That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
