I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
