what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize