I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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