Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
