My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
