Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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