I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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