girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
