I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize