is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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