ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
