Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
wow bdsm is so cute
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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