Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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