you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
