i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
