i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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