He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
