dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
