it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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