I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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