i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize