There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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