If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
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