btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
