I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
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21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
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I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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