whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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