I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Randomize
