She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
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Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
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The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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