Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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