i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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